Erin's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] Erin [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[13 Sep 2009|02:37am] too much too really talk about. - burning man - lust, dust, deviance, the resurrection of courtesy, decency, and generosity, and lovely new spirits in my life - slutting it up, monogamy-style - relapse - wonderings obligatory update? post comment

joanna newsom [07 May 2009|11:35pm] all my bones they are gone, gone, gone take my bones oh, i don't need none post comment

[30 Apr 2009|10:45pm] summer was here i remember it well how he stood in the shade how we both kissed and fell so sad our so sad our so sad our so sad our our memory we were never more than a dream brief as summer or spring sweeter than anything - pj harvey post comment

[18 Apr 2009|01:45am] so it's been awhile. a concise and incomplete summary of the past four months: - DIY queen reupholstery - the re-education of my hips via belly dance and other pursuits - gym clothes - romantic dissections over elliptical handlebars - shoes, oh my god, shoes - the bounty of craigslist in the form of vegan dog-loving bakers and fly-ass mirrors - fatass fridays replete with bsg overdosing and hipster bakeoffs - the reanimation of the x-files' corpse by way of unholy dvd necromancy with new initiate lukas - the first steps towards a summer week of acid-fried hippie desert debauchery at the infamous burning man - gchat therapy - peace and love - pj harvey - reading machine - a charming, frustrating, ongoing, and ultimately frivolous amorous encounter - resignation to the ulterior motives of my own incontravertible heart - loving my family - learning how to smash boobs for money - homeless rabbit fostering - the return of the dress - having the skills to pay the bills more as it comes to me. post comment

[02 Jan 2009|09:18pm] recently: - hot child in the city - fireworks (of all kinds) - chinese for breakfast - sick in bed - triple A today: - apartment touring - apartment scoring - scrabble magnet crafting - lasagna making tomorrow: - bookcase refinishing - catnapping - blissing out post comment

[28 Dec 2008|02:09pm] yesterday: - sat in the woods making smores and breaking down to radiohead b-sides with abby while making plans to see them twice in mexico in march - ouija board premonitions regarding ex-sex and international show-and-tell - more spinning fire in the backyard - deciding that the sound of huge balls of fire swooping around my head is better than any other physical indulgence today: - donuts and trashy vampire novels - naps - packing tomorrow (or the next day): - drinks with the delightful dancing dan post comment

[27 Dec 2008|10:58am] yesterday: - christmas exchange featuring tao lin and rome - hot new ride (except not really, it's a saturn) - furnishing my domestic bliss - philadelphia slumber party today: - admiral rabbit as the proud owner of two vehicles - ditching work - wii fit adventures - smores party tomorrow: - absolutely nothing - except maybe drinks post comment

[23 Dec 2008|08:27pm] yesterday: - dinosaur shaped chicken - queen and the ramones as kitchen soundtrack - "not that there's anything wrong with that" - pillow talk today: - teenage vampire babymomma love stories at work - fried foods - alt-rock debauchery - rude, obscene present swap with the reigning king and queen of 90s masochism - a lot of radiohead problems - RABBITS tomorrow: - scattergories, rummy, and ionizing radiation with the ladies of larchmont - christmas in the house - new car browsing since my old one blew the fuck up (matter of time) post comment

[21 Dec 2008|07:29pm] today: - subjected to in rainbows for the first time - videotape will be my undoing - best friends forever exit music radiohead tattoos - lukas, abby, and i in the same room without the earth imploding - learning to spin fire in a haddonfield backyard - yet another blast from the past via mysterious text message tomorrow: - recovery - post-work seinfeld tutoring/hot date the next day: - alt-rock overdosing - the three most interesting people currently present in nj exchange presents post comment

[20 Dec 2008|03:33am] yesterday: conversations about swallows, tattoos, trisomy disorders parking lot ok computer meltdown/rapture wing-eating competition voyeurism discussing the merits of underage sex and cross-continental matrimony today: strep throat and sleeping on the couch a lot two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches tomorrow: abby abby abby radiohead ink post comment

today [14 Dec 2008|05:54pm] a list: nighttime pinball parlour in the middle of pennsylvanian nowhere learning the language of seinfeld building a well-read culinary-minded artsy posse keeping in touch cupcakes and snowcones skirts and heels reaching out best friends forever mutilation plans involving radiohead celebrating commonality loving my world thinking about getting lovebirds domestic goddessing 3 comments|post comment

[11 Dec 2008|08:35pm] so, how you start is how you end, i guess. the last month and a half i've been re-evaluating almost everything about my life. it's obvious that the last four years were a distinct era, and it's also obvious that it's totally over.  in thinking back on everything it becomes really clear that the beginning really is almost always the end. starting everything out on such shaky and unsure footing, such back and forth ambiguity, i don't know how i could have expected something stable to grow properly. the longer time went by, the more i sank into the worst parts of myself, and became less and less sure of who i was supposed to be and what i was supposed to want, and ultimately what i could even expect. i have never been so consistently misunderstood or unable to understand someone else. i don't want to be that way anymore. i don't want to sit on the best of what's in me. i want every decision i make to be a consciously positive choice. i want to choose the people who will be in my life for what good they can bring me and what good i can bring them. i want to actively root out what has the potential to be destructive - a person, a relationship, a situation, anything. i want to love everything i bring into my life, and i want those things to nurture the best i have to offer. here's to the girls who are ready to grow up. i'm glad you're here. post comment

reunion version 2 [26 Nov 2008|11:00pm] today i met kristy for dinner - i haven't seen her in five years, and everything has changed but really, nothing has. we shared lists of the most ridiculous of the many horrible things to befall us in that time, and also expounded upon our new (and shared) revelations that we are grown-ups, we can do whatever we want whenever we want, we have a duty to ourselves to be simultaneously satisfied and decent, and cannot afford to be angry. i was genuinely happy to see her, volunteered physical contact to someone i am not sleeping with or planning to sleep with for the first time in years, and voiced my sincere desire to share the things in my life (friends, time, etc.) with her. i'm excited. last night, jamie and i went to hear mary oliver, got lost in philadelphia (with a gps!), and stopped at a diner to bask in the beatific and generous glow of mary oliver's willful and deliberate gratitude, appreciation, and grace. it was validating and made me feel so hopeful. afterward, i had a long and mildly heartbreaking conversation i have been needing to have, and i feel better. ***** lately i am feeling like i have spent a long time thinking i am someone less thoughtful, emotional, and loving than i really am. i am ready to embrace everything positive and make my life something that is beautiful and satisfying every day. i sound like a hippie asshole and i don't care, because being happy fucking rules. post comment

worst recap ever [25 Nov 2008|03:13pm] short version of sept - today: sept: - flew to seattle to reunite with my long-lost alternative twin in mourning after three years of denial - rolled off a mountain and went under some (very small) rapids, earned a battlescar - rocked zombie monday/postapocalyptic dating game in a seattle dive with some polyamorists - camped with some goddesses - fell in utter, traumatic love with the pacific northwest october: - blah whatever at the beginning of it - got dumped over the phone while dressed as cleopatra at the end of it - died for a couple of days november: - along with abby, happened across billy corgan in a casino hallway while wearing a fifties party dress i made and discussed the sublimation of our egos and submitting to love, the universal natures of love and death, how much scorpios love sex and pisces boys, how i adorned my walls with the lyrics of adore as a lovestruck teen, the duality of  my gemini nature and his priveleged place on my good side, and what would happen to me if he played soma that night, took some sassy pictures of his perplexing monkey hat - heard him play fucking soma that night - jaunted along an impromptu tour of the d.c. memorials with the ever-charming lukas while waiting for emotional decimation at the hands of bc, took pictures of the department of the interior and abe lincoln's head - got emotionally decimated by bc - lost 15 pounds - 10 days of house/dogsitting - had a hot philadelphia date upcoming: - mary oliver tonight at the free library with the delightful jamie - more philadelphian debauchery - chicken pot pie romancing - apartment hunting life is beautiful. post comment

tear [09 Nov 2008|01:01pm] do you know the way that i can do you know the way that i can't choose? and do you know the things that I can do you know the things that I can't lose? tear me apart tear me apart from you where is your heart? where has your heart run to? post comment

[07 Nov 2008|06:16pm] i just want to lay down and not get up for years. 3 comments|post comment

machina. [05 Nov 2008|09:19pm] last night i turned around and thought i saw myself turning inside the strangest dream of life unloved and cities burning post comment

[31 Oct 2008|02:00am] [ music | ok computer ] i'm hibernating. post comment

[21 Aug 2008|06:38pm] i have been listening to the string quartet tribute to ok computer and having strange dreams and thinking about the fall and reading books about lost girls. post comment

[28 Jun 2008|10:58pm] this week i went to the beach and fried the everliving shit out of myself, saw salman rushdie at the free library with jamie, got a tee shirt in the mail with a rabbit and some headphones on it, and today installed a wood floor. so badass. right now i'm exhausted, shedding skin, sore, and my face is that of a leper - i'm hideous and dirty but i have listened to the best music all damn day so i don't care. i know that i hide from music because i'm terrified that my overwhelming obsessions will take over my life, but i broke down recently and it's happening all over again and goddamn. i feel like i'm fifteen, reading deep significant truths in the lyrics of every song i hear. i'm on the very brink of a smashing pumpkins black hole right now - by this time next week i'll have listened to the entirety of adore seven times and will have thru the eyes of ruby on loop in the background. i just know it. post comment

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